missed train

Sigh of disappointment, again, Friday, Oct 15, 2010, I missed my 8:05 train. I am a hair’s breadth away from getting to the train. But sadly, I watched it as it roar off the station. It is 4 day straight that I have to stay and wait for an hour for another train to arrive. Indeed I’ve never learned. What a week?!


Sunday night, I am full of plans to get my head busy for the week. Then I woke up Monday morning, so lazy to start the week right. But by a hair I didn’t miss the train or so as I can remember I arrived earlier in the station. I even remember saying to my friend, well, “early for 8:00, will catch the late 7:35…” (There is a 30 minutes interval between arrival of trains)

Tuesday, I am so not in my senses that not just only I missed the 8:05 train and wait for an hour for the next train, but worst I didn’t get off the right station. Indeed, stupid of me, I dozed off when I am near the station I am supposed to go. So I did get down the next station, took a cab to the office and a 100 php was slashed from my pocket.

Wednesday, I promised myself that I would not commit the same mistake I did yesterday, getting off the wrong station. Again, I missed the 8:05 train. I felt nothing at that time, no guilty feeling that I will be 1 hr late from work since I got nothing on my table to attend to.

Thursday, the same thing happened. Didn’t catch the 8:05 train, wait for 12 hour and start reading my “invest-in-your-mind-ready-lectures”. Usually I’ll kill my waiting time by watching how I met your mother series, which somehow eases my boredom and disappointment. But I felt that I am already behind my goals I had set for myself so I read the things I should have started on Monday.

Then Friday, as I had said first, which lead me to writing, is that I missed the train. I don’t know but I felt so down when I saw the train sets off. I felt that I had everything slipped off my hands lately.

I know I am making a big deal out of small issue, but sometimes in little things we could see how we are living our lives. If we dig deep in our actions, we will come to realize what we are missing, what and why we are losing something, why we question what is happening in our lives.

Missing a train, is missing another opportunity to start the day right. Time wasted waiting for another train could have been time used for new learning.

Missing a train is seeing an opportunity that I allow to let go. All I need is a small adjustment with my time, wake up early or just move faster than the usual but I just looked at the hand of time as I slowly eat my breakfast, and speeding up when bang with the thought of “LATE AGAIN”; and always hoping that I can still catch up the train.

Truth really hurts and reality is hard to survive. People do make their fortunes, and so their misfortunes. How many times I will let the train leave me behind?

the climb

Last summer of 2009, I went to Leyte with my parents and brother. It was a short trip but the most memorable vacation I had in my mom’s homeland. I'll tell why...

On the 2nd day of our trip, we stayed in my uncle’s house to celebrate the feast of San Isidro Labrador, the Patron Saint of Workers. The house is up in the mountain, and the place was un-city like. But the feast was fun; there were dances, fiesta games and foods. So the afternoon of that day, I went to our room, rest and watched the movie TAKEN in my itouch. Out of the blue, my cousins thought of going to the waterfalls of that place, so I joined them, borrowed clothes from my cousins (it was unplanned trip so I didn’t prepared the right get-up for it). To cut the long trip short, we hiked, more than 2 km on shingly road, climbed huge boulders of rock, walked in some running waters which I’m not good at--- I have to run after my slippers because it always slipped off my feet.

It was a long exhausting trip, plus the burning sensation of heat and a liter of water to be shared by 8 people. I remembered singing “I can almost see it the dreams I’m dreaming, there’s a voice inside my head you’ll never reach it...” (CLIMB by MILEY CYRUS), just to keep me going. So finally all the exhaustion was washed away when we got to the 2nd fall, the long walked was worth it. The place was so awesome; I immediately swam and enjoyed the water splashes on my back. But we just stayed for an hour and we were unable to go to the 3rd fall—‘coz it’s getting dark and eerie to return back home.

The trip to the fall brought back a lot of memories; the hard preparation in board exam, ---every hardship in completing education. Even though many had it, still it is one of a rewarding event in the life of people who have set it as their goal. Just like me…

We went to Leyte and celebrated the feast to express my deepest gratitude to San Isidro for helping me to pass my LICENSURE EXAM. I did pray a lot to many saints to intercede me to the Lord for guidance and strength. I really pray hard along with intense studying. What more is the thought that in the 5 months preparation, I had, I was the person I needed to be in order to succeed.

Optimistic, Determine, Disciplined, and Strong faith in God and myself.

But now I have not sustained the attitude, and hoping to gain it back. I just thought, at that time I have a goal in mind, unlike now… Before goals are vivid, go to school, passed the exams, get a diploma and get a job…Now what comes next… The path to success is blurred; even its meaning is unknown to me…It’s like standing in the forest, staring in nothingness and fathom what brought you there. The forest will offer you a lot of direction, if you figure-out and have a strong grasp of what you wanted to achieve, even if you take the long path, encounter lot of obstacles, get lost, face dead ends, this will not stop you from trying. However, there is a direction that will lead you back where you started, to the place where you are accustomed to…

It is not wrong to return back as long as there are no regrets and what ifs…

I felt happy when I return back from the falls even though I got a lot of insect bites, scratches, exhausted legs and ripped off shorts…all the hardships had paid off because there is a wonderful gift waiting at the end. Just to finished the song…”Ain’t about how fast I get there, aint about what’s waiting on the other side…IT’S THE CLIMB…KEEP GOING, KEEP THE FAITH….”